Hey guys! It's Dad. You know, our society has created unrealistic, unhealthy, and ultimately unattainable goals for us. It is constantly pushing us to be more than we are today; to be bigger, to be stronger, to be more wealthy, to be more powerful, to be smarter...to be the boss. I want you to know that you don't have to listen to society. In fact, I'd hope that you turn away and choose your own path. You don't have to play that unwinnable game. You can be yourselves and find joy in your days today, and in your future. You can bring joy to others lives, today, and in the future. I want that for you. You know that I often dream at night, but I don't often have happy dreams. Well last night I had a really peaceful dream; a dream that taught me something, and it made me smile. There was a father speaking to his son. The father loved his son and wanted nothing more than to help his son achieve happiness and success. Their conversation went something like this. Father: "Hey son! What do you think you'd like to do when you're older? What interests you? What kind of job do you see yourself doing when you're older so that you can be successful and happy in your life?" Son: "I don't know Dad. I guess I like dancing. I like football too. I kinda like art, like painting and stuff. Oh, and I want to fly!" Father: "Well those are great interests! Are those things that you'd like to pursue now, or in the near future? Did you want Mom and I to sign you up for some art classes, or to play football?" Son: "No, thank you." Father: "Well, if you want to succeed; if you want to really create a comfortable and happy future for yourself, we might want to look into it sooner rather than later. We can set it up for you. Think about it. Do you want to be a big fish in a small pond, or do you want to be a big fish in the ocean?" Son: "I'm not a fish, dad. I'm a bird. I want to fly. I really just want to fly" Then the Dad just hugged his son tightly and told him, "Then you go fly, little man! You go fly!" I know it's a bit of a crazy dream, but it spoke to me. It reminded me how important it is to be yourself! You don't have to strive for the old "American Dream." You can make your own American dream. You can live in a bus at the beach and surf all year long. Heck, you could video yourself doing it and probably earn a comfortable living; a happy, peaceful living. You could open a nursery and teach people how to grow and cook their own food. You could work for the president, and maybe knock some sense into him. Just keep your spirit plugged in all the time. Make sure that the path you're taking leads to peace within yourself. Make sure that you let yourselves fly! Your Mom and I are the end of an era. We're the end of the era that taught us to "Do well in school, then go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, then retire and enjoy your golden years." By "Golden Years" they mean when you're old. It's sad to say, but sometimes those golden years never "seem" to come. But the only way that those very best years won't come is if you keep looking into the future to find them. The Golden Years; they are here right now. Enjoy your lives right now. Explore your interests now. Of course those interest will probably change, but those are healthy changes. If you're a fish, I hope you swim in the ocean. And if you're a bird, then I hope you fly to wherever your heart takes you. I love you boys. Love Dad
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Hi boys. It's Dad. I saw this quote by William G.T. Sheed, and it made me think of you. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” I want to encourage in you the willingness to take chances. I know that it sounds simple, but it isn't easy. It can be scary. In fact it's pretty much always scary to take chances. But, amazing things happen when we take chances. Life changing things; world changing things can happen when we take chances. In fact, they only happen when we take chances. As a bartender for a long long time, I can't tell you how hours I spend listening to how many people pour their hearts out to me. Their lives were buried in fear. They asked me about relationships or careers. We'd talk about adventures, sports, travel, and hobbies. It wasn't long before I realized that my answer was always the same. The answer to all of those questions goes something like this: Imagine yourself on the top of a steep, steep mountain bike trail, or maybe a ski slope. It's so steep that it looks impossible to go down. You're all geared up, ready to go, but you're completely freaked out about how you're going to get down. Here are your choices. You can go down very cautiously, with the brakes on, slowly inching your way down, making sure that you don't fall. Or, you can release the brakes, find your path and just go for it. Now the outcome of these two different approaches could not be more different from each other. If you take the cautious and methodical approach, you're gonna make it down. White knuckles, heart beating like crazy, and glad it's over. But you'll be safe. When you're done, your life will be the same. You will be at the bottom. But if you risk it; if you take a chance, you've really got only two possible outcomes. 1) You go for it. You go bombing down the mountain and have an absolutely horrible wipe-out; bouncing off the ground as your gear is strewn all over the mountainside. We gave this less than desirable outcome a nickname, "A Yard Sale!" Gloves are over here! A boot is over there! Where are the goggles please? As you continue your tumble, you let out an uncontrolled howl that's usually accompanied by a trip to the ER for some stitches and an X-ray or two. Take it from me, these wipe-outs can, and usually do, have an impact on your life. Still, I wouldn't trade 'em for the world. My friends and I still laugh about 'em today. The other possible outcome is that you actually make it! You lean over the edge of the mountain and let it roll! With acceleration like you've never felt before, you go flying down the mountain, dodging rocks and trees, grunting and groaning, jumping over stumps and boulders like some guy on the X-Games! You see your life pass before your eyes about a million times. Then, right before the mountain flattens out at the bottom, you let out a uncontrolled howl that's usually accompanied by the biggest grin you've ever had. Just like the cautious approach, you've got white knuckles and your heart is beating like crazy, and you're at the bottom. But you did it, and you'll never be the same for it! You may never go down again, or you may catch your breath, laugh with your buddies, and climb right back on the lift back to the summit! Either way, I can promise you one thing. Wipe-out or make it; your life will never be the same. It will never be the same because you took the chance. Don't be afraid to take chances. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't think that you can't do it. You can! Think about it. Noah built the ark. I bet he was a bit uneasy about it! And the best engineers in the world built the Titanic. We all know how that worked out. Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we learn. Mark Zuckerberg, that guy that made Facebook, said, "The biggest risk is not taking any risk at all. In a world that's changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks." Consider what could happen if you succeed. Consider what could happen if you fail. Then consider what will happen if you don't even try. So what's on the other side of chance? Life. "Should I accept that job in Rhode Island?" I don't know. Would you be happier if you got the job? "Should I climb Mt. Everest?" I don't know. Is that a dream of yours? If so, why have you waited this long? Let's pack! "Should I ask that pretty girl to dance?" Yes! Definitely yes. I did. That pretty girl is your mom. I love you boys. I hope you live your lives, rather than just endure 'em. Take chances. We'll be here to pick you up if you fall. Love Dad. |
AuthorAs a father of two sons, I have often wavered between feeling the burden of raising two strong, intelligent, compassionate young men and the privilege of doing so. Archives
May 2017
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